It sucks. Totally. When you think you've met a friend, who is more then just a friend. A friend who can tolerate your idiocy. A friend who knows you a lot more then others. A friend whom you can spill your guts to and share your woes. A friend whose residence is just separated by one street. You're thinking all that, and then you realise, she's moving away. As if graduating wasn't enough. Now this has to happen.
I can honestly say i'm not very happy about it. Not one bit.
Adding on, let's focus about my results, or rather, a lack thereof, which i received about a week ago. I was expecting a F, but lo and behold! The school surprised me with 3. It wasn't until a few days later before the realisation set in. Refering back to my past results, i had failed a module which is only taught once a year, meaning it's dead set in stone that i have to retain for another year. Now i have failed another 3 modules in this semester. I'm looking at a possible 2nd year to retain in. Even if they decide to cram my timetable, i'm still looking at 1 year 6 months at least. Thus, worst case senario, 5 years in ngee ann.
When ziqin, qiuyun, zhiwei, fun and company's batch graduate, i'm still here.
When xueting, gary, ken, cheryl and company's batch graduate, i'm still here.
I hate this. Everyone is going, and i'm hating it. Even if it's still early to say this, but hell, i'm going to be left behind. Everyone i know is gone, poof, au revoir, see you later, and i will be alone once again. The band of SCCeans i spent my time with will just be nothing but a distant memory.
I can cry, scream, punch the walls, grit my teeth all i want, but nothing is going to change. I'm through with blaming myself. I'm just unable to accept the consequences. EVERYONE IS LEAVING TOO SOON DAMMIT.
***
Let me tell you about a dream i had. There was a bunch of SCC people, and i was somewhere at the sidelines watching. Just watching. I heard one of them say something about going somewhere, and they just started leaving one by one. They couldn't be bothered with my presence. No one cared anymore. I just stood there and watch the last of the group disappear over the horizons.
Where are you people going? What about me? Why am i left behind?
Perhaps, this is a glimpse of what my future is to be..
リオ
I can honestly say i'm not very happy about it. Not one bit.
Adding on, let's focus about my results, or rather, a lack thereof, which i received about a week ago. I was expecting a F, but lo and behold! The school surprised me with 3. It wasn't until a few days later before the realisation set in. Refering back to my past results, i had failed a module which is only taught once a year, meaning it's dead set in stone that i have to retain for another year. Now i have failed another 3 modules in this semester. I'm looking at a possible 2nd year to retain in. Even if they decide to cram my timetable, i'm still looking at 1 year 6 months at least. Thus, worst case senario, 5 years in ngee ann.
When ziqin, qiuyun, zhiwei, fun and company's batch graduate, i'm still here.
When xueting, gary, ken, cheryl and company's batch graduate, i'm still here.
I hate this. Everyone is going, and i'm hating it. Even if it's still early to say this, but hell, i'm going to be left behind. Everyone i know is gone, poof, au revoir, see you later, and i will be alone once again. The band of SCCeans i spent my time with will just be nothing but a distant memory.
I can cry, scream, punch the walls, grit my teeth all i want, but nothing is going to change. I'm through with blaming myself. I'm just unable to accept the consequences. EVERYONE IS LEAVING TOO SOON DAMMIT.
***
Let me tell you about a dream i had. There was a bunch of SCC people, and i was somewhere at the sidelines watching. Just watching. I heard one of them say something about going somewhere, and they just started leaving one by one. They couldn't be bothered with my presence. No one cared anymore. I just stood there and watch the last of the group disappear over the horizons.
Where are you people going? What about me? Why am i left behind?
Perhaps, this is a glimpse of what my future is to be..
リオ
posted by lone at
4:18 AM
<< Home